An Unexpected Visit
by YumiHitachiin95
Summary: What happens when Al calls envy to tell him he's going to drop in to check on his big brother? Bad, bad things. Crack ensues! :D
1. Chapter 1

Edward Elric was peacefully showering when the curtain was suddenly thrown open to reveal a walking palm tree.

"HELLO!!!!"

"AHHHH!!!" Ed freaked out and kicked (literally) Envy out of the bathroom. He slammed and locked the door, his face all different shades of red. "E-Envy! What the HELL do you think you're doing, barging into the bathroom like that?!"

"Aww chibi-chan! That was mean!" pouted Envy. "And besides, it's not like I've never seen you naked befo-Ack!" Ed had hit the green haired pervert over the head with a back scrubber so hard that it broke in half on contact.

"Hentai!" Ed yelled, blushing deeper.

"Itai…That hurt…" Envy whined, rubbing the back of his head. Ed sighed.

"Come on, you." He said, walking back into the bathroom, his emerald haired lover at his heels. "Sit." He pointed at the toilet. The homunculous obeyed. "So was there a reason you burst through the door like a crazy crack addict?"

"Well, if you really wanna know…" he was cut short by a dangerously low growl from behind him. "Er…I mean your brother called!"

"Huh? Really? About what?"

"He wanted to come visit."

"Really? When?"

"Um…Actually he was on the train when he called."

"Well it takes about 30 minutes to get here so I still got time." Ed shrugged.

"Um…About that…He called at about 10."

"Okay, what time is it now?"

"U-Uh…"

"Wait…Weren't you napping earlier?"

"Y-Yeah…"

Suddenly, the realization hit him like a ton of armor. He slowly turned to the clock on the wall.

"Nani?! 10:29!?" He sharply turned to the emerald haired homonculous. If looks could kill…let's just say Ed would be very happy.

"What the hell were you doing this whole time?!"

"Um…Sleeping?" Envy tried to sound apologetic, to no avail.

"Sleeping, eh? I'll show you sleeping!!" he growled. Ed ripped the towel bar off the wall and prepared to beat his boyfriend into a coma with it until…

~Ding Dong~

…The doorbell rang.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Sorry for the late update! ~bows~

DISCLAIMER: I own nothing...

HERE WE GO! :D

"Oh crap…"

"Yeah, oh crap!" said the blonde as he transmuted the bar back onto the wall. "Go answer the door while I get dressed."

"Fine, fine." Envy grumbled as he went to do as he was told. "Bossy little munchkin…"

"WHO ARE YOU CALLIN SO MINIATURE HE CAN'T REACH THE TOILET SEAT?"

"Nobody, Chibi-chan!" the homonculous yelled up the stairs. He walked over to the front door and opened it to see a bright, polite young face in front of him. "Hi, Al! Sorry to keep you waiting."

The younger Elric smiled politely. "No, It's fine. I should have called last night."

"No, no, It's cool." He reassured the boy. 'sort of…' he said in his head, taking a side glance at the bathroom, hoping Ed wouldn't come out with another blunt object. Ed came out of the bathroom empty-handed, making the palm tree sigh in relief.

"NO, It's not! You fell asleep right after he called! Then you busted through my bathroom door like the freaking SWAT team and tried to practically rape me! Then, to top it all off, you tell me my little brother is coming to visit an exact minute before he gets here!" The Chibi Alchemist finally took a deep breath, continued by hard breathing. He looked down, and since he couldn't talk right now, he flipped him off. The other occupants of the room swaetdropped.

"I said I was sorry…" the emerald-haired man mumbled.

"Yeah, Whatever." Ed muttered.

Al chuckled at the couple's antics. When he first heard that his Onii-chan was dating at all, let alone his used to be enemy, he was thoroughly shocked. But when he saw the loving looks they gave each other when they thought no one was looking made him believe that this relationship could work. He chuckled at the memories of his brother calling to complain about how his lover always tried to jump him.

"Hm? What's so funny Al?" the elder Elric asked.

Al shook his head. "Nothing brother." He smiled.

"Well, let me help you with your bags." Ed picked up one of his little bother's bags with strained difficulty.

"Wow Al! What the hell do you have in here, the house? Its heavy as hell!" Ed struggled with the luggage.

"Hey! Who callin heavy!" a voice shouted from the luggage.

It squirmed and rocked in Ed's hands.

"WHOA! What the Fuck?" Ed yelled, trying to keep his grip on the luggage.

Suddenly it popped open something –more like someone- tumbled out.

"Winry? What were you doing in my suitcase!" Shouted Al.

"I have a better Question!" interrupted Ed, "HOW the FUCK did you fit in there?" He spazzed.

"Ehehehehehe…Surprise?" Winry laughed nervously.

There was a deep, shocked, and awkward silence in the room.

"now that's what I call flexibility." Envy commented nonchalantly.


	3. IMPORTANT NOTE! DAZE!

DEAR READERS!

Im really sorry I have been dead for so long! -**bows repeatedly-** Please forgive me! But I defiantly am back and will try to upload more chaps and stories! Though though its gonna be kinda hard seeing as im practically banned from my home comp…..*is using school comp* But anyway, the next chappie for this story is coming so don't worry! Though I am hitting a road block as for what to do next… But as I said, I am most likely back and here to stay so be prepared! I already have another story in the works! Ok gotta go! Bye! -**Waves**-

**HAVE A NICE DAY~!3**

**YUMI OUT~!**


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